What does it mean to be vulnerable?
Thought I would share some thoughts on vulnerability as it is something I’ve been diving deep into. What does it mean to be vulnerable? We can be physically vulnerable and we can be psychologically vulnerable. When we’re physically vulnerable, our fears are usually rational. For instance, if you meet a bear in the wilderness without a weapon, the bear wouldn’t have any problem hurting or killing you. You’d be vulnerable, and it would be very understandable if you were afraid.
The fear of being psychological vulnerable on the other hand is way more interesting, as those fears are usually very irrational. But what does it mean? The way I see it it all comes down to our fear of loosing our attachments which you can read more about here. Shortly explained, I see attachments as our logic understanding of who and what we are. Our attachments become our identity. What this means is that we identify ourselves with numbers and words which is in fact impossible. But the desperation of knowing makes us grab on to everything that would make us float. As if we are drowning in the middle of a big lake, reaching on to every branch that could help us keep our head above water. Being vulnerable is being surrounded by others who we see as threats to our floating castle of branches. The fear of being vulnerable is a fight between the mind and spirit. What the spirit wants is new and can be extremely scary for our ego/mind.
Let go of fear
What I have found along my journey is that the greater the fear, the more passionate I’ve been about it. This is because what has been most important to me in life, I’ve attached myself to in order to get an identity. An understanding of who I was. In my case the fear of expressing my true feelings have been really scary, and as I’ve worked with this and challenged my fears I’ve realized how much peace and happiness it gives me. For every time we let our fear win it grows larger, because we unconsciously tell our self that the fear is real. This is good motivation to make changes, but what motivated me the most was the feelings I was denying myself to feel. For instance; Imagine you’re sitting in a room full of people you don’t know. You’re putting on your favorite song on your mp3-player and instantly, all you want to do is get up and shake every limb of your body to the beats. You simply don’t care what anyone thinks of you. The smile is unbearable so you begin to laugh while dancing. Feels pretty good right? But as long as we bow to the fears of being vulnerable, which in this case is exposing our imperfect dancing skills, we will never wear that smile. Instead of embracing our weirdness and enjoy every second of it, we would sit still, believing we’re not worthy of dancing in front of others. This face doesn’t look happy at all. My big realization here was that the fear of vulnerability were not only connected to dancing. The more I thought about it, the more aware I got. What was unconscious became conscious, and suddenly I realized that the fear of being vulnerable was almost always there. The thought of how others might judge me was unconsciously hanging over me almost constantly. By knowing this, I also knew that I was blocking myself from feeling the most incredible feelings I could only imagine. I was denying myself to live life to the fullest. To me, this is unacceptable and I won’t give up until I’m free. Free to feel the powerful magic of life which lies within our vulnerability.
How to overcome the fear of vulnerability?
In order to align our mind and spirit, we must surrender to vulnerability. I’ve found there is two ways to do this. One way is to expose your illusions. Meet your fears straight on and experience that they aren’t in fact rational fears. This one is very hard, but very effective as well. The other is smooth and organic, but takes a lot more time. This is all about experiencing that no matter what, nothing can really touch you. It’s about letting go of attachments. (read about letting go of attachments). The answer is simple. Meditate. Learn to be without any thoughts and experience what you really are/aren’t. Use a lot of affirmations. After a little while (depending on how much work you put into it) you’ll become stronger and you start to believe in your self in a larger scale. As your confidence builds up, you’ll gradually confront your fears little by little. Maybe without even noticing it. After a while, what you thought of as too scary to face suddenly becomes a joke.
Personally I’ve used both. I started to meditate for at least 60minutes a day, while at the same time I started to push myself out there more.
If you have any thoughts on the subject or comments to my story, please expose your enlightenment in the comments below 🙂
I would like to smoothly finish this entry by asking you: How deep is your fear of vulnerability? How would you live your life, if you knew nobody was judging you?
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Wishing you all a magical day!