We’ve all experienced how selfish, negative, angry and depressing people can drain our energy. Stealing our energy like vampires. It’s easy to let them control our mood, and as long as we let them, they probably will. So how do we maintain our peaceful and loving energy?
Understanding our power
The first and most important thing is to understand that we are in fact in control of both our thoughts and our feelings. Our mind is an incredible and highly underestimated tool. There is no way for another person to give us a bad feeling. Although it feels like they do, all our feelings comes from within and as long as we blame others for our own suffering, we will never be happy. It’s often easier to blame others, run home and comfort ourselves with some chocolate ice cream as we distract ourselves with some silly TV-show while feeling sorry for ourselves. Or maybe we get angry and yell back. Or maybe we get ashamed and sad. All these situations are draining our energy and dragging us down to a low frequency, but only because we let them. It takes two to fight and a person like this is simply inviting us into the boxing ring. How we choose to react is our own decision alone.
During one of Buddhas lectures, an angry man came yelling at him and Buddha replied “If a man offered a gift to another but the gift was declined, to whom the gift should belong?” The man replied “To the one who offered it.”
“Then, I decline to accept your abuse and request you to keep it for yourself.”, said Buddha.
It might seem impossible, but it’s all about training our mind. Once you understand this you are ready for the next step.
Understanding the situation
The next step of keeping calm in situations with draining people is understanding why they behave like they do. Now this might seem like a bold statement, but all our actions are essentially driven by either fear or love. Although it doesn’t seem like neither love or fear is the motivation for why we go to the bathroom, eat, shower and so on, it is. We know our body and our selves well enough to do these things before it becomes a problem, but all these things are in some way a threat to our survival or comfort or actions of love. If you wait long enough, sooner or later you’ll be afraid you might shit your pants. Next time someone behaves like a total douchebag, just imagine it’s because they are about to shit their pants and are desperate for a toilet. If someone is draining your energy, it’s because they are afraid. Afraid of being vulnerable, rejected, loosing identity, loosing power, and so on. And so they feed of others energy to keep their pride. A selfish person is a person with a big ego. A person with a big ego is a person who lives in the illusion of being in the center, separated from everybody else. The greater the ego, the lonelier the person. A person with a big ego will also have an urge to protect its ego/identity. Our identity is made up of attachments(read more).We get attachments in order to stay sane, to rely on some sort of understanding of who we are. If someone challenges ones attachments, it can feel like ripping of a part of our personality. People can do crazy things in order to keep their attachments at place. A person who is constantly negative and feel sorry for himself is a person with expectations(read more). A person with expectations is a person who feels incomplete and look for fulfillment in the future. Why does a person feel incomplete? The feeling of not being enough is extremely common these days, and it’s no wonder considering who we’re constantly told how to behave and look, while at the same time society teaches us to find happiness in the materialistic things. It’s the lack of self love.
No matter how different we are, we all want one thing. Love. We’re all scared of the same thing. Being alone. We’re all driven by the same feelings. Love and fear. Understanding that the giant douche is really just a person in need of love is what you need to understand to keep your shield up.
The next and last step to keep calm is to simply breath. No matter how chaotic your surroundings are, your breath is your always-available source of peace. Know that you’re in control of your feelings. Understand why they behave like they do and focus on your breath instead of their words. As you work on this, it will get easier and easier, until it happens without any effort. At this point you’ll have a strong and powerful energy with the ability to heal those who suffer. Give them your heart, give them your love and give them your compassion. We are all one and the same and it is our living right to be loved. This is how we turn douchebags into angels. This is how we heal the world.
As always, do not take my word for it. Do not believe in anything that does not seem true to you, but be open, ask questions and dare to be wrong and the truth will revile itself.
If you have any question, thoughts, ideas or stories, please expose your enlightenment in the comments below! 🙂
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Blessing my dear brothers and sisters. May your day be magical!